Depression, Amy Poehler and Roxanne’s Rant on “Baby Blues”
- At November 05, 2014
- By Roxanne Snopek
- In Life, Roxanne Writes On
- 10
To those of you new to me, announcement: I have depression. I know, I know what you’re thinking. “How can it be? Look at that smile! You’re so funny, quirky, even sometimes. Not to mention cute like a baby goat and oozing talent from every pore…” No? Well, whatever. I’m not a mind-reader.
Anyhoo, depression. The great first-world plague of our time, a genuine life-threatening illness that nevertheless makes us feel like pitiful, self-absorbed losers because compared to so many people in the world, we have awesome lives.
A lot of bad self-talk comes with the territory.
I’ve learned a great deal about the continuum of mental health since I was first diagnosed way back when my youngest was a toddler.
By the way, baby blues? Take 90% of functioning adults, inflate their bodies, put their hormones in a blender, then hurt them in places that really want to be treated nicely. After that, isolate them from their usual social circles, strip them of all status and economic power, and give them the job of caring for what everyone says is our “future, the most precious things in the universe” but is in fact a sleep-destroying effluent-producer, and the job doesn’t pay the couple-of-bucks an hour that teenagers get to spell you.
Oh, and don’t forget, it really is the most important job in the world and you really want to succeed, but you have zero training and will mostly suck at it.
To every doctor who has smiled dismissively and said “there, there, it’s just the baby blues,” may there always be a mosquito in your room at night and you always get a 15 second ad on YouTube.
Back on track, now. I’ve learned a lot about the black dog that lives inside my head (no, not my lovely poodle, he’s right here beside me), mostly that a) a lot more people than you know have or have had or will have a dance with that dog b) few of them will talk about it and c) most of them will be somewhat terrified, enormously ashamed and incredibly grateful to hear stories of other people’s experiences.
And on that note, the entire reason I began this post, I read a great little piece in Smart Bitches, Trashy Books today about depression, and I thought I’d share. More specifically, it’s about Amy Poehler’s book Yes, Please. That’s right, Amy Poehler’s dealt with depression.
Enjoy!
PS: In case you’re worried about me now and want to send cards or flowers, or drive by the house to see if the lights are on, I’m fine. I will probably always be prone to flare-ups, like people with eczema or herpes, but it doesn’t control my life. I have an awesome life and, more importantly, I know it.
Are You a Highly Confident Person?
- At April 21, 2014
- By Roxanne Snopek
- In Life, Roxanne Writes On
- 0
Highly confident people believe in their ability to achieve. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else put their faith in you? To walk with swagger and improve your self-confidence, watch out for these fifteen things highly confident people don’t do. Now, I’ve come a long way, baby, but this shines light on several (okay, many)
troublesome areas for me. How about you?
- They don’t make excuses.
Highly confident people take ownership of their thoughts and actions. They don’t blame the traffic for being tardy at work; they were late. They don’t excuse their short-comings with excuses like “I don’t have the time” or “I’m just not good enough”; they make the time and they keep on improving until they are good enough.
- They don’t avoid doing the scary thing.
Highly confident people don’t let fear dominate their lives. They know that the things they are afraid of doing are often the very same things that they need to do in order to evolve into the person they are meant to be.
- They don’t live in a bubble of comfort.
Highly confident people avoid the comfort zone, because they know this is a place where dreams die. They actively pursue a feeling of discomfort, because they know stretching themselves is mandatory for their success.
- They don’t put things off until next week.
Highly confident people know that a good plan executed today is better than a great plan executed someday. They don’t wait for the “right time” or the “right circumstances”, because they know these reactions are based on a fear of change. They take action here, now, today – because that’s where progress happens.
- They don’t obsess over the opinions of others.
Highly confident people don’t get caught up in negative feedback. While they do care about the well-being of others and aim to make a positive impact in the world, they don’t get caught up in negative opinions that they can’t do anything about. They know that their true friends will accept them as they are, and they don’t concern themselves with the rest.
- They don’t judge people.
Highly confident people have no tolerance for unnecessary, self-inflicted drama. They don’t feel the need to insult friends behind their backs, participate in gossip about fellow co-workers or lash out at folks with different opinions. They are so comfortable in who they are that they feel no need to look down on other people.
- They don’t let lack of resources stop them.
Highly confident people can make use of whatever resources they have, no matter how big or small. They know that all things are possible with creativity and a refusal to quit. They don’t agonize over setbacks, but rather focus on finding a solution.
- They don’t make comparisons.
Highly confident people know that they are not competing with any other person. They compete with no other individual except the person they were yesterday. They know that every person is living a story so unique that drawing comparisons would be an absurd and simplistic exercise in futility.
- They don’t find joy in people-pleasing.
Highly confident people have no interest in pleasing every person they meet. They are aware that not all people get along, and that’s just how life works. They focus on the quality of their relationships, instead of the quantity of them.
- They don’t need constant reassurance.
Highly confident people aren’t in need of hand-holding. They know that life isn’t fair and things won’t always go their way. While they can’t control every event in their life, they focus on their power to react in a positive way that moves them forward.
- They don’t avoid life’s inconvenient truths.
Highly confident people confront life’s issues at the root before the disease can spread any farther. They know that problems left unaddressed have a way of multiplying as the days, weeks and months go by. They would rather have an uncomfortable conversation with their partner today than sweep an inconvenient truth under the rug, putting trust at risk.
- They don’t quit because of minor set-backs.
Highly confident people get back up every time they fall down. They know that failure is an unavoidable part of the growth process. They are like a detective, searching for clues that reveal why this approach didn’t work. After modifying their plan, they try again (but better this time).
- They don’t require anyone’s permission to act.
Highly confident people take action without hesitation. Every day, they remind themselves, “If not me, who?”
- They don’t limit themselves to a small toolbox.
Highly confident people don’t limit themselves to Plan A. They make use of any and all weapons that are at their disposal, relentlessly testing the effectiveness of every approach, until they identify the strategies that offer the most results for the least cost in time and effort.
Okay, I’m no Dale Carnegie, but I’m not walking into the Fraser River with rocks in my pockets, either. But here’s what I’m going to watch for: I tend to need a lot of reassurance (feel free to give it, anytime now. Really.) and I hate inconvenient truths. They’re so darn… inconvenient.
How about you? What are your trouble spots?
Author & article source: Daniel Wallen | Lifehack
And huge thanks to the wise and confident Paula Altenburg for sending this my way!
Body Image Issues?
- At March 10, 2014
- By Roxanne Snopek
- In Life, Roxanne Writes On
- 0
Bikini season is coming. (That’s right Starks of Winterfell, *summer* is coming.) But few of us are as emotionally tough as Brienne of Tarth who, tormented for her Amazonian physique, dons armor and becomes a great warrior.
I’ll wager that most women, young or old, svelte or zaftig, tall, short or in-between, have felt insecure about their beach body at some point in their lives. Sadly there are some for whom body image is a constant, crippling influence affecting every area of daily life.
I once suffered body image issues, badly; ironically, I was much younger, thinner and fitter at the time. Now I’m older, wrinklier, saggier and I have the toned musculature of someone who spends much of her time sittin’ and thinkin’. Plus, I’ve had three babies. You know what a balloon looks like when you let out the air? That’s my belly.
But the strange thing is, I don’t care nearly as much anymore. My body is a road-map of my life and every scar and line and lump tells part of my story. I’m healthy, average and normal (physically, at least. Mostly.) I’ve made peace with my shell. Mostly. And I’m grateful for what I can do with it. I look after it so hopefully I’ll be able to keep on doing things with it for a long time to come.
So if you love summer and dream of soaking up the sun, like I do, don’t let popular culture and media images defeat you. Here’s a quick guide to finding the best beach wear for your body type: