Day 64 Zero Sum Life?

It’s playoff season for hockey fans. The Canucks look like they might just make it to the Cup this year and put on a fantastic show doing it.

I haven’t always been a hockey fan; I started watching because my husband is a fan. This was back in the early days of our marriage when our babies were small, our recreational budget was non-existent, and “movie night” meant hauling a rented VHS machine up to our 17th floor apartment. It was a fun thing to do together. It was either watch hockey with him, or be alone. And now, I cheer as loudly as any fanatic.

But generally speaking, I step back from activities that, in order for me to win, someone else must lose. I don’t like losing, and if it doesn’t feel good to me, why would I attempt to win, thereby making someone else feel like a loser?

I know, I know, not a “winning” attitude. Not a mentality prized in today’s competitive world where “getting ahead” is the be-all and end-all. I believe in excellence, in doing your chosen work with passion, but does it have to be an elbows-up, watching-over-your-shoulder situation? Because it’s a short leap from staying ahead of the competition to rank paranoia.

Maybe this issue splits down gender lines. (My husband once asked me, after a yoga class, who won.)

I guess I’d prefer to see my life – my ideal life, in which I’m the person I strive to be, rather than the clay-footed one I usually am – not as a competitive event, but as a cooperative event. I’d like to think that if I offer someone a hand up, it benefits us both. And that if I’m struggling, other hands will reach down for me.

I don’t think life has to be a zero sum game.