The brilliant author Nancy Robards Thompson recently issued a #100DaysofHappiness challenge and I’m taking her up on it. If you’ve been following me for a while, you might recall my 100 Days of Bikram Yoga challenge, where I not only did 100 straight days of Bikram yoga, but I blogged about it most days as well. 100 day challenges apparently work for me.
So here’s my entry for Day 1.
My baby, all growed up.
As some of you know, our youngest daughter left for university this past weekend, leaving me a little… forlorn. Motherhood has been my primary identity for well, most of my adult life. Natural childbirth, breastfeeding, homeschooling, the works. Attachment, baby. All the way. Plus, I’m a Scorpio. We grab on. Tight. (Mama Doesn’t Share Food!!)
Which was all great. Until now when my primary task IS to let go.
Some things were easier when our girls were smaller. For instance, we could tuck them into bed, set the alarm and know they were safe. Some things were almost unbearably sweet: the fresh-from-the-bath smell when tucking them into bed. The full-belly laughter. The innocent, wide-open trust in their eyes. The hand-holding.
But there was lots to counteract that easy sweetness: screaming fits, hours-long bedtime rituals where I just wanted to spray them with Nap-Time (come on, you’ve thought about it too!) not to mention the power-struggle between 30 pounds of arched-back fury and a non-negotiable car-seat. In the dreaded mommy-van.
As our daughters have grown into independence, I’ve morphed as well. But this milestone, last chick launched, is forcing me to evaluate my life and goals. The Next Stage of my life is here. How do I want to play it? (And for the last time, Honey. Naked Wednesday is NOT a thing.)
To mark the event: a Celtic infinity knot, symbolizing the mother-child bond.
So this is my Day 1 of Happiness: I’ve got a wide-open world ahead of me, with three fantastic adult children and a husband who loves me even when I get broody and existential. I’ve got a career I love, with readers who remind me that exploring the landscape of relationships through fiction is important. I’ve got excellent friends who also love me, despite my neuroses, or what I call The Adventures of Roxanne’s Brain.
Change can be hard. But life is very, very good.
Love Notes from the Lake
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Congratulations and good luck! My oldest is just learning to drive and he has muscles and looks more like a man every day. I remember when he was three and yelled “mommy! Mommy! I lost my penis!” Followed by horror movie worthy screams – his, not mine. (It was covered by bubbles in the bathtub). They grow up so fast is cliche because it is true. Happy 100 days of Happiness. I look forward to reading your 99 more.
That’s hilarious, Dee! It’s great that our kids don’t read what we write about them isn’t it? Thanks for stopping by; always great to hear from you!