Day 20 Consider Yourself Warned

I’ve reached that stage in an exercise program where my body has reached a plateau, neither improving (as far as I can tell) nor leaving me in a limp puddle of humiliation after a class.

Now, they tell me, it becomes a mental challenge.

NOW it becomes mentally challenging?? I don’t know what that means, exactly. From day one, it’s been a mental challenge to stay in posture when my hamstrings are screaming. It’s a mental challenge just to get to class every day. It’s a social situation, which automatically makes it mental challenging for me. And NOW it’s getting started??

I’m scared.

But I have noticed one thing, and maybe this is what they’re talking about. I’m pretty damn proud of myself. Yessiree, bob, I’ve made it 20 days in a row. Yup, lotta sweat. Lotta laundry.

And I’m not afraid to talk about it. To wear yoga clothes all day, every day, to be make-up free and proud, to casually practice postures while waiting in bank line-ups. (All part of the social challenge referenced above.)

“You run marathons,” I might comment at a cocktail party. “How nice for you. I,” pause for effect, “do yoga. Bikram yoga. The hot kind. Here, feel my abs. FEEL THEM!”

If I’ve had a glass of wine, it can quickly devolve into an anatomy lesson, a sort of reverse sexual assault. Which you’d think would make me popular at parties, but no. Apparently I do something weird with my eyes that frightens people.

Mental challenge, pshaw. It’s a mental challenge every day, just to be me. Bring it on, I say. BRING IT ON!