Day 27 Must. Have. DOUGHNUTS.

Today’s afternoon class was a breeze, despite Ken and Barbie in the back row. More about them tomorrow.

But after class, I overheard Juliette, the instructor, talking to one of the newcomers who was asking about weight loss. “Most people actually gain weight when they first start Bikram yoga,” explained Juliette. She happened to say it during a lull in the general ruckus of water gulping and shoe gathering, and as one, every pudgy female eye turned toward her in silence. “Muscle weighs more than fat,” Juliette added quickly, “so you’ll still look smaller.” The quiet lengthened and grew more dense, like the air before a tornado. “But you will lose weight eventually,” she continued, rather desperately, “as you continue your practice.”

So I guess I almost had it right the other day. Except I should have said Yoga: Guaranteed Weight Gain.

All I know is I’m damn hungry these days. I spent my final savasana planning my route to the bank for cash to pay for Tim Horton’s. And we’re having pizza for supper.