Day 28 A Good Mennonite Girl Breaks the Silence

Posture number 14, of the 26 in the Bikram series, is called Wind-Removing Pose (or Pavanamuktasana. I can’t say it, but I can spell it. Even if I couldn’t, who’d know??) It looks like this:

And if there’s any little effervescence hanging around your colon, let me tell you it’d take a bionic sphincter to keep it in. Hence the name.

But, fortunately this is not the silence I broke.

I shushed Ken and Barbie. Yes, I did.

It was the beginning of class, the initial savasana, and they were lying side by side, whispering and canoodling and giggling, all of which is strictly verboten.

Well, alright, there’s a bit of lee-way with the whole silence rule; sometimes newcomers aren’t sure where to put the mat (you might recall me mentioning this issue earlier) or they start to ask questions in a somewhat panicked sotto voce: “Is the fan broken? It’s not supposed to be this hot, is it? I think I’m going to throw up.” Etc.  

So you quietly comfort and reassure them that yes, the heat is deliberate and no, they won’t puke if they shut up, lie still and breathe. But mostly, shut up.

But this was not the sort of twittering Ken and Barbie were doing. I tolerated it, breathing deeply, until suddenly, something inside me broke.

“SSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!”

I shocked myself. You see, I was not brought up to make waves. My biggest goal in childhod was to be invisible, to avoid the spotlight, to always run with my back against the wall, like a mouse in daylight. I did not run out in the open, with the popular crowd, and I certainly did not shush them.

It’s kind of a cultural thing; Mennonites may not have invented martyrdom, but we’ve certainly perfected it (we’ll claim mediocrity if you ask, however.) We may frown in silent judgement, but we don’t talk about people. Or even to people, unless they’re fellow Mennos. We endure. We suck it up. We huddle together and eat pie. And even though I haven’t been a good Mennonite girl for decades now, the lessons of early childhood are hard-wired in me.

So, while Ken and Barbie will never know who shushed them, I still felt like I’d broken through some psychological barrier in my little brain. Hey, it might be small but it’s my victory.

Erin Brockovich, kickin’ ass and takin’ names, that’s me.