To those of you new to me, announcement: I have depression. I know, I know what you’re thinking. “How can it be? Look at that smile! You’re so funny, quirky, even sometimes. Not to mention cute like a baby goat and oozing talent from every pore…” No? Well, whatever. I’m not a mind-reader.
Now you’re scared, aren’t you?
Anyhoo, depression. The great first-world plague of our time, a genuine life-threatening illness that nevertheless makes us feel like pitiful, self-absorbed losers because compared to so many people in the world, we have awesome lives.
A lot of bad self-talk comes with the territory.
I’ve learned a great deal about the continuum of mental health since I was first diagnosed way back when my youngest was a toddler.
By the way, baby blues? Take 90% of functioning adults, inflate their bodies, put their hormones in a blender, then hurt them in places that really want to be treated nicely. After that, isolate them from their usual social circles, strip them of all status and economic power, and give them the job of caring for what everyone says is our “future, the most precious things in the universe” but is in fact a sleep-destroying effluent-producer, and the job doesn’t pay the couple-of-bucks an hour that teenagers get to spell you.
Oh, and don’t forget, it really is the most important job in the world and you really want to succeed, but you have zero training and will mostly suck at it.
To every doctor who has smiled dismissively and said “there, there, it’s just the baby blues,” may there always be a mosquito in your room at night and you always get a 15 second ad on YouTube.
Back on track, now. I’ve learned a lot about the black dog that lives inside my head (no, not my lovely poodle, he’s right here beside me), mostly that a) a lot more people than you know have or have had or will have a dance with that dog b) few of them will talk about it and c) most of them will be somewhat terrified, enormously ashamed and incredibly grateful to hear stories of other people’s experiences.
And on that note, the entire reason I began this post, I read a great little piece in Smart Bitches, Trashy Books today about depression, and I thought I’d share. More specifically, it’s about Amy Poehler’s book Yes, Please. That’s right, Amy Poehler’s dealt with depression.
Enjoy!
PS: In case you’re worried about me now and want to send cards or flowers, or drive by the house to see if the lights are on, I’m fine. I will probably always be prone to flare-ups, like people with eczema or herpes, but it doesn’t control my life. I have an awesome life and, more importantly, I know it.
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You hit being a new mother right on the head. I especially love the part about stripping them of economic power. That part so often gets overlooked in a society that values income status so much. Touching and funny post, as usual.
So glad it connected! Thanks, Dee!
There are still some people who don’t have any notion about PPD. With hormones shifting along with the responsibility for a new person, it’s hard to have a moment to think about the difference between one day and the next. Plus you’re so tired after birth that it takes a while to take things in stride again, especially with all that waking up at night to feed the baby and find the bathroom. I had twins and demanded to have my husband come when the hormone swing began in the hospital. He came and it truly helped to share the mood and unload a bit. I think it’s hard to recognize when you’re frazzled, how you are doing in general. Thanks for your amusing take on Post Partum Depression and the link to Amy Poehler’s book.
Thank you, Sunnymay! I love how open people are now to talking about this sort of thing. I’m glad it resonated with you!
Thanks for this. My 17 yr old was just diagnosed with depression. She is trying to pick a career for college and get through senior year and was having a hard time of it. Her school counselor suggested she talk to a counselor who specializes in high school girls. It has helped.
I remember how stressful that time is, Sue. And the world has changed so much in the past thirty years. I watched each of my daughters go through it and I believe they have an even harder time now than I did. I’m so glad your daughter is finding support – and that she’s got an understanding mom!
Loved your description of post-partum depression. I had PPD with both of my kids and couldn’t eat or smile for 3 months both times. When people asked me how I lost my pregnancy weight I would say “post-partum depression, but I don’t necessarily recommend it as an ideal weight loss solution.” Anyway, thanks for joining the ranks of individuals who are not ashamed to say they have depression.
Thank you, Susan! I had a friend long ago who, while a good listener and kind-hearted etc, didn’t really “get it” when someone was depressed. You know, a little impatient, sort of the “why don’t you take my advice, you’ll feel so much better!” attitude. Years later, she told me that she’d had an episode herself and it was a total eye-opener. She was apologetic for her earlier attitude, even though it wasn’t offensive or anything. But we can always tell when someone doesn’t understand and that is what makes us keep quiet and suffer in silence. Here’s to joining the conversation!
Love that you’re willing to share & that your snarky humor was perfectly spot-on!
I was diagnosed with bipolar 13 years ago & I’m not afraid to tell anyone I meet…NOW. 13 years ago, I was terrified to admit I wasn’t always happy. Like you, I’ve learned that more people than not have suffered from mental health issues. By sharing our ups & downs, we make the world a better place!
Thank you so much, Michelle! I’m glad it resonated with you!