Post-Game Hockey Interviews: Cliché Alert

Post-game interviews crack me up. They are All. The. Same. Phrases fed to players by coaches, with the sole purpose of saying as little as possible while still appearing to answer the questions. Miss one lately? Let me catch you up:

Host: So, (Ilya/Sergei/Mikhail, etc) what were you thinking when you felt the puck on your stick in those last few seconds?

Player: Well, (James/Scott/Kevin, ctc) I am thinking I must to keep it away from their players, get it down ice and into net, fast as possible. I’m not sure even what I was thinking!

Host: Tell us what your team did today to achieve this stunning victory.

Player: Why you heff to esk? We give one-hundred-ten percent, we play as team, we push envelope right out of comfort zone, and at end of day that make difference. No need for to reinvent tire.

Host: What do you think is your secret to success?

Player: We go out strong and focus energy on puck, to be getting it in net. We keep simple and manage game. We play good road game. We take one game at time. Like I say, at end of day, game is what game is.

Host: Well there you have it folks, the secret to success! Congratulations again.

Player: Spasiba. Also, keep feet moving. Very important in hockey.

Put the Cat in the Bag. That’s All.