Why be vulnerable

… you might ask? Because that’s the key to connection.

Recently, I picked up a copy of Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown. You know what they say about the teacher appearing when the student is ready? It feels as if this is the book landed in my sight-line at exactly the right moment.

It’s about vulnerability and transformation.

If you’ve been reading me for any length of time, you know that one of my key-words is authenticity. I strive to tell the truth in my books, to dig into the real issues of a character, a relationship, and figure it out. I strive to be real, to be honest with myself and with others.

This is REALLY HARD. Because being honest, being authentic, means being vulnerable.

I’ve always secretly believed this desire for authenticity to be my super-power, however I’m extremely aware that vulnerability is not valued in much of our culture and that you have to have really good boundaries to remain safe, while being authentic and vulnerable. I’m not always that great at determining the people who are safe, the times and places where this part of me will be valued. Which means, I can get really hurt. And when I get hurt, I withdraw, like a turtle, into my shell.

I’ve spent a lot of time inside my shell. Note: it’s not a great place to be.

Brené Brown’s book, and her videos and TED talks, addresses this fear – terror really – that we all have of revealing our true selves… and being rejected. Her research is about the true power that lies within vulnerability, how we can’t fully engage in our own lives unless and until we embrace it.

I’ll tell you more as I learn more. In the meantime, watch this: